One Abnormal Girl

Commercials that feature DRINKING SPIT FROM SOMEONE’S MOUTH do not encourage me in any way to buy the product.

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

One of these days I’d love to start and maintain a blog about something clever, funny, and/or interesting, but I still haven’t come up with the idea.  (Presumably I have the education.)  Until then, I’ve only got this.  Personal fodder is always in abundance.

I recently told my supervisor about my plans to book it on the 20th of June.  \o/  It was earlier than the requisite 3 weeks, and they could have decided just to let me go instead of letting me work until THE VERY END, but she said they’d keep me as long as they could.  And I may or may not have to train someone, which keeps me occupied.  When idle, I often maintain an involuntary internal monologue wherein I explain things.  If I didn’t dislike children so much, I’d be a teacher.

Here’s the part in the post where–OMG I MISS CRAZYLOSTSTAR LIKE BURNING

I mean, here’s the part where I name some random things that I’m into lately.  (BUT SERIOUSLY I DO, SHE IS ABROAD FOR LIKE A MILLION YEARS, OMG COME BACK, BUT ALSO HAVE A GOOD TIME)

I never mentioned Torchwood, but I’m totally into it even though I don’t have cable, or I didn’t have cable before I reverted to parental living.  The Captain Jack Harkness episode was everything I’d wanted and never expected out of it, and maybe out of television in general. ohnom.  Also I’m all antsy for the Supernatural finale that I can’t watch yet ad;jdfj DEEEEAN.

There were some other things I think I meant to say, but apparently I have trouble recapping.  I also am having trouble focusing on anything but the night of June 19th and the events that will follow.  I don’t know if it’s really sunk in, yet.  I should be more scared, but at this point my optimism just can’t be bothered to worry.  It was just a short time ago that “zomg why aren’t we closer together” became an actual question to me, and there just wasn’t a valid answer for it.  It was barely two months ago that I thought maybe this huge change in my life just might be possible, with some help.  It’s been a crazy turn of events even since then.  And I know once I begin to anticipate the departure realistically, once it’s two weeks, or one week away instead of just sometime in the future, I’m going to be a lot more nervous, a lot more incredulous that I thought I could do this.  But we all have that reaction to big changes when they are soon to be a reality.  It’s always more comfortable in the rut, but it’s not necessarily the right place to be, and not going is just not an option.

HOHO so anyway, Dad’s phone broke, and he can’t get a new one until I’m off the plan (and he can renew the contract), so I now have a new plan, or I will when the phone arrives.  I haven’t had a new phone in about 3 or 4 years, so I’m also excited for that, even if it’s an unexpected expense at a bad time.  My economic relief check was also not the $600 I was expecting, and lulz I forgot my final gas bill was going to be huge.  Yay for my parents. \o/ ?

OH but one other thing that makes me excited is that on our cross-country trip, I’ll finally have an awesome reason to use Twitter!   So we can chronicle our grueling 4-day journey for anyone wondering if we’ll ever get there.

And now I have to watch Stephen Colbert, because he is insanely adorable.

I MISS CRAZYLOSTSTAR.

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

a.) Post a list of 20 fandoms.
b.) Have your friends list guess your favorite character from each one.
c.) When guessed, bold the line, include the character name, and write a sentence/paragraph about why you like that character.

Will anyone play? LET’S FIND OUT. I don’t actually know 20 fandoms. I barely even have 20 interests of the fandom sort. So let’s see how many I can name.

1. Star Trek: The Next Generation
2. The Fullmetal Alchemist - Roy.  When Roy was first introduced, I liked him as little as Ed did.  But oh, there was so much more to him.  His arrogance and self-promotion turned out to be surface traits that hid a painful, perhaps shameful past as well as a carefully crafted future.  I love the subtlety to his character.  He rarely acts how he feels.  That’s awesome.
3. Supernatural - Dean.  Oh Dean.  Like Roy, Dean hides a lot under his machismo.  He’s also gorgeous, but rough, and he’ll do anything for his brother.  He feels like he’s got the whole world on his shoulders but he’s accepted it as his duty.
4. Torchwood - Jack.  Jack can be an asshole when he thinks it’s for the best, but his compassion is really very immense.  I love the way that, in spite of his arrogance, he can reach out and connect with people and empathize with them.  I love the way he cares for and about his team.  Also, very attractive.
5. House M.D.
6. Firefly
7. Yami no Matsuei - Tsuzuki.  He has a past that’s at complete odds with his personality.  I SENSE A PATTERN.  I also love that he’s different, and that he’s powerful, but modest.
8. FAKE - Dee.  I love his complete honesty, and his frustration.  I love his devotion and tenacity and the underlying respect that keeps him from being a jerk.
9. Family Guy
10. Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles

Okay, that’s all I can name.

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

So here’s the thing.  I’m moving to California.

It’s pretty self-explanatory, given the distinct lack of graduate school in my future.  I could try again, and I may, but the thought of enduring another 8 months of my current life until I can even apply again, and then another 3 months of it waiting to find out, and another 6 months waiting to go (if I were even accepted) is depressing, to say the least.  I’m atheist: to me, this is it, this life is everything, and I feel like when it comes time to go I’m going to be absolutely crushed under the weight of regret.  I’m afraid of death, but I’m even more afraid of wasting my life.  Because in the end, feeling as though I have fulfilled my self-created purpose is the only thing that’s going to make dying any better.  It’ll always terrify me, but lifting the impending sense of regret is the only salve.

So now that grad school may not happen–now that one of the larger avenues of self-fulfillment is (perhaps temporarily) closed to me, I’m faced with a gaping void, and where I am right now, there are no paths forward, only away.  I have family here, but I have no friends, and no career choices that don’t make me want to cry.  And I need a career.  As much as temping makes working bearable, I need benefits.  I currently have none, and that makes me especially uneasy.

So I’m moving.  I’m moving to a place where I can see my friends several times a week instead of a few times a year.  I’m moving to a place where I have a much higher probability for finding a job that might help lessen my future regret.  I’m moving to a place where I won’t have to spend so much money to participate in my favorite hobbies.

One week from today, I’m moving back to my parents’ house to start saving some money, because with my current expenses and current salary, I can afford to save nothing, and I’ve never had a savings account.

Nine weeks from today, I will be en route to California with the help of the incredibly generous crazyloststar with some essentials and the cats.  A few of my possessions will follow by mail, but for the most part, I’ll be parting with almost everything.  It’s a sad thought, but a grown-up one.  I want to be an adult.  I’m not an adult yet.  Life is supposed to be more than what I’ve got.

And I’m excited.  Once things work out, many of my sources of depression will be gone.  There may be new sources, but for the most part this will be a positive change in my life.  But things have to work out first.  I need to convince someone with coveted favor that my skills and my interests and my intelligence make me worth having.  Thus far I have been unable to do so, be it for good employment or desired schools.  (Penn State was the school I settled on, not the one I really, really wanted to go to.)  I just want to accomplish something that makes me cheer inside.  I want to finally get something that I really, really wanted.

But even if I don’t, at least I can be around the people I want close to me on a weekly, if not daily, basis.  The absence of that is probably the biggest weight on my chest right now.

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

Pilfered from psycholullaby!

Comment, and I’ll reply with a few sentences on why I value you as a friend. Then, post this on your journal so you can do the same to your friends. (Or not.) TURN UP THE POSITIVITY!

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

No, not for me. For the dolls! I had ordered some alternate clothing on eBay just to give them something else to wear, and it finally got here. I was beginning to worry, but it was coming from Hong Kong.

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

x-posted:
[LJ] fma_yaoi
[LJ] hughesxroy

Discretion.
by arcanewinter. R 4569 Hughes*Roy. Fullmetal Alchemist. Cadet!fic.
For crazyloststar, who encouraged this. Hughes ends up eavesdropping on Roy and can’t forget about it, for one reason or another.

These characters do not belong to me. I do not profit from this. You, and not I, are responsible for your offense if you choose to read what follows.

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

Well, finally scrapped together something worthy of an entry, and wouldn’t you know, it’s fandom related. Should be a story posted soon as well. I finally heard back from the final university, and I didn’t get into any of them. I’m not emotional about it anymore, but the biggest obstacle I’m going to have now is not feeling upset whenever I hear about people in grad school. Jealousy is one of my bigger faults. I may end up trying again at some lesser universities, but for now the plan is to try and find a job that uses my undergrad degree. If I can do that, I’d be content. And I probably need to be making about twice what I’m making now (which isn’t impossible) so that I can actually start paying off my debt while still getting on with my life. “Getting on with my life” means moving to a bigger city, closer to at least one group of friends, or making enough money to drive, which would at least let me travel to my friends. Really, just a better paying job in general would solve a lot of the issues that are dragging me down emotionally. Grad school would have been one awesome method of adding fulfillment to my life, but there are others. Making $8.50 an hour, however (although this is my favorite job so far), is not going to get me any of the things I need and want.

It’s a bit embarrassing to juxtapose the above paragraph with this one, but in my defense, I ordered these action figures in November. I didn’t really have the money for it then, either, but I can’t be blamed for something I did almost 6 months ago. Also this purchase made me productive again, so it’s not all terrible.

Onward! About two or three weeks ago I finally received Medicom’s Roy and movie!Al in the mail. I promptly took pictures, then found a foam piece that was just right for a couch, then made a cover and pillows for the couch. I also fished around in the basement of my parents’ for our old Barbie kitchen set, which is really a Sindy kitchen set. Must have been Barbie’s rival in the 70s, but I still think this stuff is cool. They don’t make Barbie furniture like this anymore. Dude, the sink has a drain in it, and a plug, and a little basin under the sink to catch the water you could put in it. Check out the pictures! I’m hoping to rummage some more this weekend for any other pieces I can find.

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

The world will still be here when you get back. Honest.

Last week sometime I got the rejection letter from Cornell, so that’s one down, three to go. Ohio State seems to want me to apply for some of its scholarships, though, so I’m not sure if they’re just leading me on or what. I’ve got a bad feeling about this first rejection because I think it follows that the other three (being higher on my list of hopes) will do the same, but I’d rather not think about it until I have to. It’ll take some major overhaul to come up with an alternative life plan where I can still do and be something/someone useful.

In the meantime, I’ve got a new temp job, but it should be a pretty steady one. I’ve been at this place before, but not in the same department, and I like the atmosphere a lot. I have a cubicle, I have a computer (although I can’t get away with Intarwebs), and the phone use is limited. This in particular is good news, as one of the primary sources of stress I get from jobs is unpredictable phone calls. When you’re a temp and you barely know what the company does, it’s almost agonizing never knowing how to handle the customer/business who’s calling for a reason you can’t fathom just yet. I want to have a job doing something I’m good at. And, while insurance certainly isn’t my forte, I think I could be okay at this.

One of the definite perks, however, is that the company is replacing everyone’s old CRT monitors with widescreen 17″ flatscreens, and because IT had to bring a computer into the department for me to use, I’m the first one to have one. It’s not exactly fair to them, but IT says they’ll get theirs soon. I hope so. I’ve seen a lot of people eyeing it up, and for good reason. Their monitors are atrocious, especially with all the data screens they have to sift through all day. Definitely easier on the eyes.

Later today I have a viewing to attend, and while I have no work tomorrow, there’s the funeral. My great aunt died after a brief illness. That leaves two sisters out of five alive; my grandma was the second one to go. This aunt didn’t have any grandchildren, though, and one of her daughters had already passed due to cancer. I guess there’s only more of this to come.

ETA: Just opened the rejection letter from OSU.  2/4 done.  This had been, according to my profs who knew profs there and had written me recommendations, one of the most promising, so I’m pretty down about things at the moment.  But I guess I won’t have to worry about those OSU scholarship apps they e-mailed me about.

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

Just pull out the knife.”

About a week and a half ago I finally sent off the very last bit of application material to my fourth and final potential university.  I have four chances to advance my education and my life goals; I hope at least one of them pans out.  I hope for some more than others, but at least one would be sufficient.

I thought one, at least, was doomed: I remember reading on Stanford’s application Website that the #1 reason for rejection was receipt of materials past the deadline.  I was thus nervous about my submission materials getting there in time, with the beginning of the holiday season and the sheer distance between the two points.  But I ordered my transcript in time, and with the time estimate given on the GRE Website, I could have expected those scores to arrive in time as well.   But I didn’t receive my own GRE scores until after Stanford’s deadline, which implied that Stanford certainly hadn’t received them in time, given that the scores are sent from New Jersey.  Furthermore, my transcripts were returned for insufficient address just before Christmas–again, well after the deadline.  I figured that by now, it was a lost cause, but since I had paid for the transcript, I called and beefed up the address, and it was re-sent.

Doomed on many counts!  But apparently it might still be all right so far: I got Stanford’s confirmation e-mail that all my materials had been received and they’d be in touch.   No mention of anything being late, so maybe they don’t care.  Or maybe they just take a little while to send out that particular e-mail.

But now I wait.  I should hear a final word from all four before April, but I might hear from them sooner via phone interview.  Phones and interviews . . . does the nervousness add in that case, or multiply?  Egh.  But whether or not I go, it will be better for me to know which direction my life is going to take so I can make the best of it.  :<

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

SO in December, edchii, crazyloststar and I went down to Georgia to visit sky_dark for her birthday. \o/ These are some pictures of some of the festivities, which mainly include cosplay and dress-up. General silliness, all much fun.  Too many to caption. ;_;

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

From [lj] lacidiana here.

RANDOM ALBUM MEME

1. The first article title on the page is the name of your band:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

2. The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album:

http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

3. The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post it in your own journal.

Image credited to here.   Full quote here.

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

88% Hillary Clinton
88% John Edwards
88% Barack Obama
83% Chris Dodd
77% Bill Richardson
76% Joe Biden
69% Mike Gravel
67% Dennis Kucinich
56% Rudy Giuliani
43% John McCain
41% Tom Tancredo
38% Mitt Romney
35% Mike Huckabee
24% Fred Thompson
17% Ron Paul

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

Kind of nonsense to judge a person on their name, as illustrated by the half and half accuracy, but whatevs.

What Kristin Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don’t spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you’re snobby or aloof, but you’re just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You’re always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can’t handle you. You’re very intense. [Lol, sooo energetic] You definitely are a handful, and you’re likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. [I don’t think I get in trouble quite in those terms.] You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It’s easy to get you excited… which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don’t stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. [lulz what?] You don’t always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don’t have as much going for them as you do. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You’re most comfortable when you’re far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What’s Your Name’s Hidden Meaning?

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

x-posted:
[LJ] havoc_fan_club

Relationship.
by arcanewinter. G 1933 Havoc, Roy. Fullmetal Alchemist. No spoilers.
Havoc’s finally found the one. Now he just has to keep her from the colonel.

These characters do not belong to me. I do not profit from this. You, and not I, are responsible for your offense if you choose to read what follows.

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

Trust.
by arcanewinter. NC17 5370 girl!Ed*Greed. Fullmetal Alchemist. genderswitch, AT.
Originally written for heiadenna for Elricmas 2007 and posted here. Despite his hard-learned lessons, Greed finds that in winning Ed’s trust, it’s impossible not to trust him in return.

These characters do not belong to me. I do not profit from this. You, and not I, are responsible for your offense if you choose to read what follows.

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

It’s been a while since I’ve updated, amirite? Part of the reason was that I had to keep something a secret but most of the reason was that I’m easily overwhelmed by my to-do list.

I sent in my applications for 3/4 of the schools on my list, the last of which isn’t due until January 15th, and I should be sending all of that one in around the 1st. My GREs were pretty late in arriving to me, so I seriously doubt they reached Stanford in time. Even if they did, the address on the transcripts was insufficient for USPS (but not FedEx), so they were returned and had to be re-sent. Stanford feels like it was doomed for me.

Ohio State . . . well, I may not have sent the GRE scores to enough offices. Their instructions didn’t match at all the actual process of requesting GRE scores these days. I think UMich is still in good standing. Cornell is still not submitted.

I was just getting two of the apps done for good when edchii came up to visit for a few days starting on the 7th I think. We watched some stuff and she made me many pancakes. Come Tuesday, crazyloststar arrived in my city via our tiny but international airport as a Christmas gift from her parents and a birthday gift for sky_dark, whom we were heading down to visit on that Thursday the 13th.

On the way down (and for the month before), we’d been thinking up ways to reveal that crazyloststar had in fact come with us, but it was all for naught. Sky was asleep when we finally rolled in around midnight, so we had crazyloststar wake her up, and I think Sky screamed a little. Awesome.

Got to hang out with sky_dark, wiccat, heironymousb, hieadenna, psycholullaby, sami-chan and hakuyama for almost a week before we sadly had to leave on Wednesday morning! I should have pictures soon. Sky, wiccat, and crazyloststar took all the photos.

Got home with edchii, and then she had to leave on that Friday, and then I spend the weekend downloading World of Warcraft and working on my elricmas fic, which I finished in the nick of time. Then I went back to World of Warcraft.

Spent Christmas Eve at the aunt’s as usual, where I got a cute fleece cardigan from my parents. Then, on Christmas morning at my parent’s, I found a small pile of prezzies I hadn’t been expecting. I had wanted the iPod Classic, but didn’t think they’d actually get it . . . and then on top of that, they got me a laptop cooling pad, four seasons of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, an iFish, chocolates, and a small boombox that can dock iPods. That, though, is staying with mom because it doesn’t accommodate the Classic (wtf) and I’m giving her my old 1G Nano in return, so she can use it with that.

It’s been years since I got so much for Christmas . . . and so much I honestly didn’t expect. My parents spoil me so much. <3

It may be coming to a close here on the east coast, but Merry Christmas!

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

Waiting.
by arcanewinter. PG13 459 Hughes*Roy. Fullmetal Alchemist. No spoilers.
They both know what he has to say.

These characters do not belong to me.  I do not profit from this.  You, and not I, are responsible for your offense if you choose to read what follows.

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

So I’ve been using foobar2000 as my music player for about two weeks now. After months of agonizing–yes, agonizing–over what to do about my regrettable dependence on iTunes, I finally mapped out what I’d need to do to break myself out of it and still be listening to my music collection the same day. I detailed the steps and predicted difficulties out on paper while I was supposed to be studying for the GRE, of course. (Does anybody else avoid stress this way?)

I was originally using this foobear skin, which was really the skin that enticed me into foobar to begin with, but I didn’t like that it didn’t have a lyrics panel. (For anyone unfamiliar with foobar, the base player offers customization up the @$$, and of course, offers a lyrics panel if you install that plugin. When you start installing certain all-controlling skins, though, you lose some of that customization, and are restricted to what the skin is built to show you.) So I moved on to this one (but with the “compact” option), and I’ve been pretty pleased so far.

I think I’ve got it to the point now where anything I got from iTunes, I get from foobar, and, of course, much more. Here’s a rundown of everything I have installed on it and what it does. It’s as much a list for me as for–well, for just me, unless you too are interested in foobar, but need assurance about leaving the other players behind.

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.

Originally published at One Abnormal Girl (WP). You can comment here or there.